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Frankly, I Don’t Want to Talk About It
And, I’m not really sure anybody wants to hear about it. Today I’m doing what I gotta do. Gave my grandson a ride to work and taking care of medical appointments. But, I’m doing it with a heavy heart. Today would be my son’s 51st birthday. It’s been just over a year since he died at age 49. I spent some time texting with his best friend this morning. It was comforting to spend a few minutes with someone who also misses him and it was special to hear from him today. L

Chick Clearview
Jan 30
Spoons
Pete & I rely on Spoon Theory as a handy shortcut with each other for our energy levels & ability to do things. Spoon Theory uses the idea that you start each day with a set amount of spoons. Everything you do costs a spoon. Waking up, eating, getting dressed, bathing, commuting, working, everything costs a spoon. Understanding how many spoons each daily activity costs require introspection & practice, & is highly worth it. All healing requires introspection, even if it's onl
Jen & Pete
Jan 28
It’s a ShitShow
There is so much going on with family right now, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. At this point, I don’t really want to get started on it, because, what the fuck? I really just want to pack up and leave now. Disappear from my life. Now I know I really can’t do that, but it sure sounds good right about now. So, what do I talk about today? I don’t have a lot of healing or growing to share. I’m kind of stuck in this place of inertia dealing with my own physical recover

Chick Clearview
Jan 26


Envy
Jen here. I'm always a little envious of people with strong family ties. I'm amazed at the people who actually enjoy being around their families, and their moms in particular. The best I can say about my relationship with my mom is it's complicated. I don't have a bad relationship with my parents; I have a cautious relationship. I could, & some would say I should, go no contact, but I won't. I am, however, pretty low contact. Having enough physical distance to be inconvenien
Jen & Pete
Jan 23


Strength in Words
Hi there, it's Pete again. I hope everyone is doing well now that the holidays have all ended and everyone's schedules are back to normal. I couldn't really think of anything to write today, so I figured I'd go over a couple of quotes and sayings and stuff that I like. I find these to be rather good. Let's start with the first one. I heard this one from a friend of mine way back in like the late 90s, early 2000s, but it goes like this. "The willow knows what the storm does no
Jen & Pete
Jan 21


Black Sheep of the Family
The other day while listening to my music, a song from the early 80’s came on called the Black Sheep of the Family by John Anderson. Back then, it would have been difficult to tell who was the Black Sheep between me and my brothers. We have all mostly grown up and become responsible adults since then, although my brothers might not totally agree when it comes to me. That’s ok. I like who I am and what I have been and will continue to do with my life. The thought that occu

Chick Clearview
Jan 19
Subtle Changes
Through the journey of healing it’s often easy to get discouraged. The feeling that you are stuck or that things aren’t happening. We have all touched on this in some aspect as we write these blogs, but like other things in life it’s not always easy for us to see the subtle changes that are happening. I can relate this to a more physical aspect of life. A few years back I decided I needed to make some changes to my life style and diet to get myself to a healthier place. I was
kevin.froehling
Jan 16


About That Roller Coaster
I think that everyone on the team has written about the challenges of actually making changes in your life as they move through healing and growth. Growth and change often comes with costs as you make your choices to move forward. Those costs are often hidden among the depths of my mind and soul. As I navigate my path, I find that every time I make some positive steps, life inserts itself and challenges me to keep moving. Sometimes it’s a result of something someone close

Chick Clearview
Jan 14


Masks
Photo credit: Wix We all wear masks. Sometimes it's to fit in. Sometimes it's to disarm cranky customers. Sometimes it's to protect ourselves. Anyone who has worked in a public facing job knows very well the 'customer service mask'. The bright smiles, and inoffensive language, even the posture can be softened all in order to prevent the random asshole customer who is ready to explode from going off on you. You act differently with your work buddies than from your best friends
Jen & Pete
Jan 12
Boom
Many times in life there are trigger events that occur to move you down the road by opening your eyes or removing a block that was in the way. I mentioned something like this in a previous blog about dominoes falling—you should give it a read if you haven’t—but anyway. Sometimes you can tell exactly what it is, or that it’s coming. Sometimes you are even the one to trigger it by agreeing to something or doing something, and the effects ripple out. You see it a mile away, that
kevin.froehling
Jan 9


Immortality
Today, I’m chief chauffeur and moral support for Alice. She’s not supposed to drive yet, but is finally feeling up to getting some things done for herself. It gives me great pleasure to be able to do this for her. It’s called being of service. Right now, I’m sitting in my truck listening to my music while waiting for her. The song Immortality sung by the Bee Gees and Celine Dion was playing. It is a beautiful rendition of the song and I’ve always enjoyed the music. So,

Chick Clearview
Jan 7


The Quiet Season
Here we are, January, about midwinter here in Minnesota. It's cold, it gets dark super early, it's pretty miserable out there. At least we have snow. Somehow winter with little to no snow is more depressing. We need to be careful and not get caught in the quiet. Winter has been a season of death, of hunger, of depression for as long as humanity exists. For those without depression, winter is just an inconvenience. The snow is pretty and the winter sports enthusiasts are happy
Jen & Pete
Jan 5


Changing the Way You Play the Game
In my last blog, I talked about how I reached a turning point in my emotional and physical recovery where it was time to stop sitting around healing and step up and be accountable for taking the actions necessary to actually get strong enough and able to go on the 50-state ride with Alice. If I continue as I am right now, I’d be lucky to still be riding a motorcycle, let alone going on the ride with Alice. I had to decide for myself whether to stay in my comfy place or get

Chick Clearview
Jan 2


