The Quiet Season

Here we are, January, about midwinter here in Minnesota. It's cold, it gets dark super early, it's pretty miserable out there. At least we have snow. Somehow winter with little to no snow is more depressing. We need to be careful and not get caught in the quiet. Winter has been a season of death, of hunger, of depression for as long as humanity exists.

For those without depression, winter is just an inconvenience. The snow is pretty and the winter sports enthusiasts are happy. But if you have depression, winter is a nightmare. The long darkness allows the mind to wander into equally dark areas. If you have any sort of chronic pain the cold makes it even worse. The cold seeps into your bones and saps your strength and endurance. Yet suicide rates in the US are typically higher in the summer than they are in the winter. There have been studies about how seasonality affects suicide rates. You would think it would be the other way around. Death overall happens more often in the winter, due to illness and other natural causes, but not suicide.

Pete and I are both affected by the winter to various degrees. I have chronic pain. He has major depression. I use heat and lidocaine and a healthy dose of cannabis when I'm not going anywhere to manage. Pete sits under as bright of lights as we can find kind of like a plant. Neither of us really expect the pain to go away. Nor do I think either of us understands what existence would be like without it.

I think that's why we have so many holidays in the cold months. From Thanksgiving to the New Year it's all bright lights and holly jolly. Christmas keeps creeping out earlier and earlier. How much of that is merchandising and how much is it a desperate waving of the flag of faint hope as the world gets steadily harder and harder? These winter holidays have one major thing in common: getting together with other people. The main secular theme of the holidays always involves togetherness, be it for gift giving or sharing a meal or sharing a kiss.

What that tells us is we need each other. While we can hunker down all winter and bury our heads, we need to remember that need. Loneliness can creep up on the most introverted of us. If you haven't heard from someone you care about in a while, check in on them. They may be further into the dark than is healthy. And if you're somewhere in that dark, hang on. The pain won't always be this bad. The days are getting longer, the light stronger, and we will always need each other to make the journey better.

If you do find yourself in the darkness, if the pain is too much, regardless of the season, help is available. Use the 988 lifeline to talk to someone who knows how to help. Let's get through the quiet season together.