Hot Ride and Good Friends

This last weekend was the first time in three years that I was able to ride with the club for the weekend. We left Friday morning for northern Wisconsin. I had a bit of a problem getting to the starting point on time.  In preparation, I had everything ready to pack the night before.  Got up with plenty of time to get ready.  It was about a half hour drive to where we were meeting to ride.  So, I figured I would give myself an hour, which would give me time to stop for gas and get some hard candy for my cotton mouth and get there early, even.  A rarity for me, as it always takes just a little longer than I think it will to get everything packed on the bike, gas up and be ready to go on time.  So, this particular morning, I was in rare form and managed to ride out just over an hour before I had to be there.  I rode the 15-20 minutes to the gas station and pulled up to the pump.  As I did, I reached into my back pocket for my wallet and, you guessed it.  I had left my “blue-nose wolf wallet” at home.  So, I headed for home, cursing myself until Sunday for riding off without my wallet.  At home I got my wallet, called the Road Captain and let him know I was on my way, but would be late.  Of course, by the time I arrived, everyone was standing by their bikes waiting for me.  But, being the good friends they are (and older like me), they have all been there, done that, and were glad to see me and we got underway.  We drove about 220 miles with a stop for lunch in the heat.  By the time we arrived around 4:00, we were all hot and tired of the heat and headed straight into the air conditioning.  With all the fucking around I did before we started, I actually had about 275 miles on my bike that day and I was more than ready to get off my painful butt and stretch out a bit.

But, here’s the thing: any day on a motorcycle, especially riding with good friends, is always a good day, in spite of the weather, riding conditions, breakdowns, stupid moves, etc.  It’s all just a part of the experience and well worth it every time. We had rented a house for the weekend to share.  Turns out, unwittingly and unknown, it was a cabin on the lake surrounded by towering pine trees with a pretty steady breeze off the lake.  It just doesn’t get any better than that. Even better is the time spent hanging out together, talking, laughing, maybe even a few tears as we share what’s going on in our lives, reminiscing about past rides, giving each other some shit about some of the crazy things that have happened along the way, right up until those very moments of hanging out.  A unanimous decision was made after riding all day in the sun and heat that the original plan for the following day of a two hundred mile ride on a even hotter day just wasn’t on our list of what we’d most like to do the next day.  Instead, we hung out in the morning until it dried out a bit from the overnight storm, then took off for an 85-mile or so ride, stopping for lunch along the way.  It was a beautiful ride over the hills and around the corners in the heavily forested pines.  By the time we returned to the town we were staying in, it was getting pretty hot and we were glad to be heading back to the lake.  OOPS!  As one of the guys left the gas station, the spring on his kickstand came off as he nicked the curb.  Bummer, can’t ride with the kickstand dragging.  After another half hour or so, hanging out in the sun in the parking lot while he attempted to fix and reattach the spring, we found a bike dealer close by that was still open.  He got it fixed.  I can’t tell you the number of times over the years that we’ve sat in some parking lot while somebody was fixing, or getting their bike fixed.  Just another part of the experience.  But, we were sure glad to get back to the cabin, cool down a bit in the air conditioning, then hang out by the lake.

Back to the friends…We decided to grill something at the cabin instead of going out to eat as we had done the night before.  After that long, hot ride the previous day, we just wanted cool and food.  No cooking for us that first night.  But this day, we weren’t so worn out and had a lot more time.  We decided on our menu (steak kabobs, rice and a bag salad).  Turns out, one of my friends informed me that since I was in a bit more pain than usual and that walking was so painful for me, she had already decided that she and the other woman there at the time were going to the store and I was going to stay back and rest.  It’s nice to have friends that recognize you can’t really physically accomplish what you say you want to do and call “bullshit-take care of yourself.”  Not my strong point, I’ve always been one to set aside my own needs in order to do my part or help someone when they need it.  But, as I’m getting older and dealing with more health issues, I’m realizing that I can’t do anything for anybody if I neglect myself too much.  So, I take it in the spirit it is offered with love and respect.  Apparently another lesson that I need to keep re-learning until I really get it.  Nobody’s perfect.  We strive for progress rather than perfection.  They prepared a wonderful dinner and I did help the guys clean up afterwards.  We continued to enjoy shared experiences and friendships the rest of the evening.

We left early the next morning in order to get back home as early in the afternoon as possible, since the heat was going to be even worse as we came into the cities.  We all split off to our respective homes and texted our thanks to each other for the wonderful weekend.

I am blessed to have a large network of true friends, old and new, with whom we are really there for each other whenever anyone needs us.  After I got home…more friends.  New friends I’ve made in the last three years that live next door.  I spent the last two evenings with two of the widows living next to me.  We all spend time outside on our patios when the weather is nice and have gotten to know each other quite well.  The two widows next door have cocktail hour around 4:30 when they are both in town.  I would often walk over and visit them, but didn’t always want to intrude.  They know I’m adjusting to being alone in the evening now that my husband is in Memory Care and made sure I felt welcome to join them anytime.  Today my visit with my husband did not go well, and it was great to be able to spend some time with them after I got home.  Since they both experienced caring for their husbands before they passed way (one from cancer, the other from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s), they knew exactly what I’m going through and it was great to share experiences with them and not feel so alone.  We’re never alone in our tough life experiences if we’re open to building authentic relationships and sharing our pain with others we trust.  I discovered that 46 years ago when I got sober in AA.  I found people that understood what I was going through and they shared their journey with me and taught me how to live comfortably without alcohol.  It’s become very important to me to seek like-people over the years.  Sharing experiences with someone else who’s going through similar tough times as I have, or listening to others who have gone through some of the same tough times that I’m going through at the moment has been some of the most rewarding times in my journey and each conversation brings about an opportunity to grow and keep learning about myself.  I love it!

Well, it’s dark and that pesky mosquito drove me inside to finish this. I suppose I better listen to myself, get some dinner and get ready for bed.  Man, there is sure a lot to this taking care of yourself business…I’ll keep working on it.😏