The Grind

Writing is an interesting thing. Some days, words flow like a raging river. They just keep going, nothing stops them, and all you can do is hope your fingers move fast enough to capture everything you want to say. Other days, they are like a leaky faucet: a slow drip that would take hours to fill a small glass.

This is the stage I’m at right now as I sit down to write the blog, but it got me thinking. This metaphor can very much be used in life for many things, tying it into a healing journey, for example.

Over the past few years, there are times when my growth and healing feel like I’m riding a fast-flowing river. Healing comes fast and easy. The changes come quickly and are easily visible. Then come the times when it almost feels like you are standing still, the slow drip of time as you sit with heavier things. The healing and the journey slow down, as if you truly aren’t moving at all.

This part can become frustrating.

“Am I actually doing anything?”

“Have I become stagnant?”

“Am I holding myself back by not seeing signs?”

Many of these questions can go unanswered for long periods of time. You begin wondering if you took a wrong turn, fell back into old ways, or if you’ve gone as far as you can and failed. The truth is, only you can truly see and answer these questions. I, for one, have struggled with this from time to time as the journey seems to bog down.

The key is not to get frustrated with yourself or the path. Spirit, the universe, God, whoever you feel is running the show, is not running on the same time you are. Time moves differently on the healing and spiritual side of life.

There are often little clues scattered here and there to show you that although it may seem like you’ve slowed to the point of a crawl in this realm, things have not stopped in others. A good example of this is dreams.

Often, when I feel like things are slowing down or have halted, I sit and think about it, realizing that while the physical feels slow, my dreams become more frequent, and in some cases very vivid. I remember the ones I need to. I know others on the team have talked about dreams and how to look at them, and I agree with what they have to say, but I’m not here to dive into the depths of that right now. I’m merely using them as an example.

In the sleeping world, dreams are a way for your brain and soul to focus on what you can’t in the waking world. They allow you to work through problems, train for battles you can’t yet see coming, and help you better connect to other sides and realms, leaving you little hints, clues, and sometimes even directly calling out things you need to sit with.

It’s signs and moments like this that help you know you are still moving forward, pushing down the path despite feeling like you haven’t moved or progressed at all. Oftentimes, you may not even remember your dreams, but they plant little seeds, leaving hints and clues along the way. Then suddenly, something happens and you have an “aha!” moment, and you’re off and running again.

What I’m trying to say, in a somewhat long-winded way, is this: don’t get frustrated if it feels like things have come to a grinding stop. It may simply be that there is work being done in other realms before you can continue moving forward in the physical.

Often, it just takes reflection to see that,even slowly, things are still moving forward. Like a stream slowly chipping away at a boulder, or tying it back to my original line of thinking, slowly working through the layers without notice. Until one day you stop and realize you never stopped moving forward at all.

You just had to crawl for a while through the muck that is life and healing.