Embrace Your Elders

3/26/24

There’s a community of people who are often overlooked, underestimated, and mistreated, and it breaks my heart daily. They’re left to their own devices, alone, yearning for a conversation to share their years of experiences and trials and tribulations. I’m not one who cares for wealth and riches; I prefer to live comfortably, happily in a safe, cozy, and warm home. To me, riches are the connections I’ve made with people throughout my life, especially in this community. Sitting down with my elders and having conversations about life, lessons learned, and laughing about mistakes instead of dwelling on the “ohh mys” and facades that the majority of my generation is still learning to shed off is truly precious. I’ve always embraced the aging process, something I’ve never feared. Getting old doesn’t bother me in the slightest; I love the process and see it as beautiful. I believe that every grey hair, wrinkle, notch in the belt, mistake, and experience is a right of passage, a badge of honor to all that one survives on the way to the only promised kept: death. When our souls get to go home. Instead of many people who complain about aging, I watch countless individuals alter their bodies in an attempt to preserve the years here as if it will hold off the grim reaper, all with this cloud of dread hanging over their heads. I’ve embraced the fact that aging is a right of passage, a way of life that none of us can escape. Perhaps I’ve come to believe this way because in my bloodline alone, all my grandparents are gone, my parents are gone, and I’ve been riddled with health issues. Sitting with the elders and enjoying the time we share, their stories, and listening to the richness of their experiences is something I cherish more because I never had the chance to do so in my family or in my life. I’ve watched people caring for their parents. One moment that comes to mind is when I watched a woman in her 70s pushing her mother in a wheelchair in her 90s. This warmed my heart, even though the daughter was complaining about it. Okay, it’s okay. I haven’t lived that life of being annoyed by my mother for 70 years, but I can’t help but smile and think to myself that at least you have a mother to push, talk to, know, learn from, and call on.

I’ve witnessed more profound life and understanding in the eyes of my elders than in my own generation. Their experiences have been more meaningful and impactful, infused with an essence of understanding, compassion, and love. However, there’s undoubtedly a flip side to this. Opposition to everything is a constant presence in life. You’ll undoubtedly encounter some elders who have become bitter, senile, and vile due to the hardships they’ve endured. Holding onto grudges, lacking forgiveness, and refusing accountability are common traits among them. Despite these flaws, you can still learn from them by listening to their stories and observing their growth as they process their emotions.

I witnessed this firsthand during my mother’s final week on Earth. She spoke openly about her pains, sorrows, regrets, and took accountability for things I had long waited for her to do. In those final days, I never harbored hatred or resentment towards her. Even the things she said that should have hurt, but I was relieved that she was finally embracing herself and all that she was. I was comforted by the fact that she had learned before her departure, even if it was in her last moments.

This experience taught me that her life wasn’t wasted because she learned and took accountability in those final moments. She was still teaching me valuable lessons about living, forgiving, letting go of pain, and finding peace. She emphasized the importance of living in the present, loving and taking care of your body, and being true to yourself. I consider it a blessing that she learned these lessons and realized them before her passing. I can now integrate them into my life, rather than waiting until later.

Life isn’t easy; it’s a rollercoaster of trials, tribulations, love, heartache, pain, sorrow, betrayal, loyalty, compassion, kindness, laughter, and countless other emotions. The best way to deal with it, I’ve learned, is to own your life, laugh, and value and cherish every moment. Cherish the time you spend with loved ones, because it’s more precious than anything else. Time is borrowed, not owed, and I highly recommend spending it wisely. Don’t waste your time on hate, discontent, stagnant lives, or people who don’t like or support you. Don’t waste your time on jobs you can’t stand.

Gleefully accept the challenges life throws your way with gratitude, and play it to your best abilities. Take your losses with the same love and enthusiasm you would a win, because you’re lucky to be alive and experiencing life. Cherish every moment.