Changing of the Guard

A former work colleague whom I have considered a good friend ever since, texted me after my last post and the resulting conversation inspired me to chat some with you about how different relationships come and go throughout life, some good, some not so good.  And the impact of those different connections as you move through life.  Again, some good, some not so good.  Some life-changing, others a bothersome mosquito in your ear.  I’m referring to it as “The changing of the Guard.”  Many of them came and went through the years as we each lived our lives.  But most of them are valued relationships to this day whether it be lover, friend, mentor, etc.  They have become a part of my circle which has morphed over the years into a constant evolution of people that move in and out of my life, just when I need them the most.  Now, I understand that the universe as a whole is not all about me.  But, my universe is all about me.  I’m talking about when my universe connects with other universes, which is in every interaction I have with the people that move through my life and I move through theirs. Some I never see again; it’s a fleeting moment in time.  Others move into closer friendships.  But each of them has a part in shaping who I’ve become and continue to be.   It’s all about the connections and interconnections in our lives that provide us the opportunity to learn and grow, or not, depending on how we choose.

At different times in my life, it was different people in my life that I connected with sometimes directly, sometimes through others.  This is just a general picture of the different groups of people I connected with over the years, not a detailed record.  Reflecting and writing about this now, I can see how those connections and interconnections shaped me and who I am today. I’ll also share a few examples.  As I thought about the examples, I realized I have already shared some of them in my other posts.  I’ll try not to repeat myself.

• In the beginning, of course, it was my family and school.

• Even during my crazy drinking years, there were individuals that had a profound impact on me.

• Then it was the man who introduced me to AA and the people I met over the years in different meetings in different locations

  • I think I’ve discussed this frequently in past posts

• Then it was the coworkers and managers I worked with over the years within the company

  • Managers and Directors that mentored me

  • Through an invitation for lunch back in 1986 I met the woman who is my best friend still today, even though we weren’t always actively in each other’s lives back when we were raising kids and chasing a career

• Then it was the many friends I made as a member of a sober motorcycle club and interactions with others while riding

  • People sharing the same passion

• Then it was the people from other companies as I became the company representative for a customer facing system first with the customers, then the industry as a whole, defining standards for electronic communications between companies.  Initially it was primarily the US and Canada.  Eventually we merged with the global standards and it included people from around the world.  I tell you this part, not to brag or bore you with my career, but to be able to give you some context of how wide-spread and varied my interactions were during that time. We spent a lot of years traveling regularly to the same places and hanging out in between the meetings.

  • Working relationships on a whole different level with customers, competitors and executive leadership

  • Working globally with people from different cultures

  • Navigating a relationship that started when my former work colleague was assigned to be the Administrative support for the committee I was chairing.  We became friends as we spent a lot of time working and relaxing together.  This, in spite of the fact that she claims I terrified her in the beginning (Apparently I was quite particular about the meeting notes, ensuring the committee decisions were accurately recorded and my reputation had preceded me.  We became solid friends both in business and personally.  Eventually I worked for her as a consultant after retirement.  Oh, Oh.  Now she was my boss and you know what?  She was as anal as I was.  We managed to hang in there through the turbulence and remain good friends.  When my son died last year she called and offered to get on a plane, whatever I needed.

• Then it was the group of mostly women who had all retired from the company around the same time I did, with whom we had monthly lunches to keep in touch.

  • Actually connecting with people I only knew casually.

• Then it was the new friends I made in the last three years since we downsized

  • A casual conversation in a nail salon with a stranger, and we joined forces as “Chick and Alice”

  • Women neighbors who’ve already lost their husbands and been so kind

  • New friendships made through getting active on the HOA Board and interacting through other friends.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet one of Alice’s closest friends from before she had moved to Minnesota.  I was doing Alice a favor and drove to Omaha to pick her up so Alice didn’t have to take time away from her remodeling project she’s trying to finish before her surgery.  Her friend was coming up to help her.  Apparently, they’ve done this kind of work together before.  Anyway, a 6 1/2 hour drive and we met for the first time after she put her things in the backseat of my truck and climbed in and we shook hands.  We trusted each other in minutes despite some trepidation on both of our parts.  But Alice said we could, so we did.  Anyway, a long time to chat with a captive audience (one of my favorite things to do).  I had previously asked Alice how they met, so I asked her friend as well (they both told the exact same story, lucky for them).  I’m not going to tell their story, not mine to tell, but they connected several different times under some very different circumstances before they became fast friends.  I was struck once again at how all these different connections show up at the right time.  I guess I’ll enjoy it.  Can’t explain it.

Love and Peace

Chick