Sinus Headache? Or…Spiritual Experience?

I woke up this morning with what felt like a massive hangover after making it through the second worst day of my life (on the date of my 46th year anniversary of sobriety), the worst day being five months ago when I watched my son take his last breath.  Yesterday was the day I moved my husband to Memory Care. Now, I’m heading to bed with a major sinus headache.  In between this morning and now, I spent most of the day healing myself in the various ways I’ve learned over the years, but at the end of the day I realized that while doing so, I had also been smoking like my life depended on it. Thus the sinus headache.

About that spiritual healing and growth I experienced today…

Getting up and doing my day, regardless of every muscle and brain cell in my body screaming “we don’t wanna.”

I followed through on a commitment with a close friend from the 1980’s. We’ve been through thick and thin together especially in the last 15 years.  I started out hitting the snooze button many times until I had to get up to pee.  Headed out the door after a quick shower, dressed in all black, hair dried but no time to style. By the time I headed home I realized I felt so much better mentally and emotionally, having successfully helped my friend bring home a maple tree that was at least 6 feet longer than the bed of my pickup…picture explained, and could go on with my day.

Careful consideration of what I would take on for the rest of the day.

I consulted with Alice about whether I should join her extra workout this afternoon since our combined schedules and life precluded getting to the gym on a regular basis in the last week or so. After discussing the physical shape I was in after yesterday with both my broken foot and hip causing me considerably more pain than usual, and the fact that we are going to workout tomorrow morning, I made the decision that I would be better off staying home and resting today and workout tomorrow.Having made the decision to rest instead of working out, I followed through and actually rested instead of trying to get things done around the house.

My favorite place to sit at home is on my patio.  I proceeded to gather all my creature comforts (tablet, phone, pillows for my chair, Bluetooth speaker for my music, Diet Coke, and smokes) and made myself comfy on the patio. Music has always been my solace.  As I played my favorite game on my tablet and let the music speak to my soul having also availed myself of some of Mother Nature’s special blend, I could feel my body and soul relaxing and letting the freedom of doing what I was doing soak in and the healing taking place.  I spent some time reflecting on the twists and turns of my life experiences and contemplating what my new “normal” will be. I not only rested my body to heal, but allowed my heart and soul to start healing as well.

Getting involved in something I’m passionate about and have fun doing it.

We had a two-hour on-line meeting this evening for Clearview Works, while I fielded phone calls and messages from concerned friends. I enjoy working with this team and am so excited about what we’re doing together that even a two-hour meeting is fun. 🤩

Realizing I had smoked myself into a sinus headache, I fixed myself some dinner, took my medication and some ibuprofen and sat back down.  As I usually do, I started thinking about my day and where I go from here, one day at a time. I’m not sure where this turn is taking me, but I know I’m going to be ok and I have more to do yet in this life. First priority will be to get serious about quitting smoking. Then I had to write about it while the feelings were still fresh, so here we are.  Thanks for listening.