Bone to pick with Chick

Now part of our blogging outline is to write about our struggles, left open ended of course. I haven’t really felt called to write any here. Some are frankly none of anyone's business, and sacred to our group. A group of some of the most incredible minds that I undoubtedly honor and respect. However, I have a tendency to get my kicks. Believing we come in alone, go out alone, and god knows I am getting a few laughs on my way out. 

So, my relationship with Chick has been nothing short of miraculous. I have changed more in the last couple years knowing her than I have from all other relationships/friendships. The authenticity of the conversations and vibrations of energy passed between the two of us has rippled out into my life in every facet. Some people, even close to me, have demonstrated a nervousness of this friendship. The changes that happened as I began standing more and more in confidence of who I am, what I am becoming, and embracing every part of it along the way. My “commanding presence” vibrating more, people stepping to the side, not giving space but honoring it. People ghosting me. I don’t take it personally. I know the effects of my growth, my knowing, my being the mirror I naturally possess. Regardless, we are human, and in the humanness of our being together united, as team players, and partners in the travels ahead. We have our struggles. Both simultaneously learning from each other, life patterns vibrating the same, going through the trials and tribulations separately but together. We laugh and rejoice in our lessons, they are not mistakes in our circle, they are lessons. But we still battle with our egos, after all we are beautifully flawed beings. Ha ha This is getting so deep for what I am about to lay down. Nonetheless it is our truth. 

So, when I embarked on my journey to a 50 state motorcycle run, it was planned just for me. I was so close to selling everything I own, and walking away from everything. Like it’s been said in previous posts. This has been 2 decades of my planning, and pivoting with all of life’s challenges along the way. Never in my life did I think I would be accompanied on this endeavor. LOL and definitely not by a woman who has walked the earth for 66 years (at that time) days away from back surgery, not asking but telling me she is going to help me and she wants to lead the ride. Most I would have been like fuck, and I have been like okay, whatever you say. See you on the benches, but I believed every word out of her mouth and didn’t see her walker. I saw HER. 

This led to many conversations about our bodies. How we both have to get in shape in order to be able to do this. But Alice, you are 40 and young, ha. I think I mentioned a few of my diagnoses in a few posts back. So, we work out when time permits it, every little bit counts, had some major heart wrenching events happen in both of our lives that caused a couple pauses, but we keep forging the path ahead. 

I am also her death doula, and well she’s clever as ever, knowing my beliefs and where I stand, she tacked the back ride onto her bucket list. This is clearly the reason I do not advertise nor take on anymore clients. This is a high maintenance project and takes a fuck ton of work on MY WHOLE TEAMS part. Yeah Yeah I am getting to the bone to pick with Chick hold your horses. “Built from Broken” By: Scott H. Hogan. I highly suggest this book. Any who. Onward. 

Chick and I have had an argument for a while now.  Not like a mean one, firm, but with love, honor and respect. Part of Death Doula is honoring one's wishes, you don’t make decisions for them, you let them decide what is best for themselves. It’s part of honoring their journey. You are not supposed to push your beliefs on them, which I don’t do. Do I help guide in some areas absolutely. One for instance is Chick in all her years drank nothing but Diet Coke, and I simply told her if she wants to heal and make this ride, she has a choice. She has to choose her health, and simply start by drinking more water. I didn’t make the choice she did. Do I think I will get the same outcome out of this next one I am about to name? LMFAO, NOPE, and I love that about her, and recognize the same in myself so I have to respectfully bow out. Am I going to throw my fit on my bow out, ohhh fuck yeah. She wouldn’t expect anything else. 

It goes like this. Not exactly because this is a common discussion, of hint hint wink winks and nudge nudges. Hey Chick, I think with the shape your body is in you should get a 3 wheeler. Never fails, and I always laugh I get the response “FUCK NO”. Hell, I am laughing now. Because I get it, and she’s a badass beotch. She has been riding motorcycles since before I was born. Two wheels, working in a corporate world where such behavior from a woman was unacceptable. She lived through the era of women standing up, and fighting for their rights, she was first woman in biker groups, first to be a woman president, while dominating the corporate world, and hiding who she was from the world that didn’t allow this behavior. That’s the bad ass woman that always rebuttals “FUCK NO” when I suggest riding a 3 wheeler. Is this coming from a place of ego, ohh fuck yes, but is it misplaced fuck nah. I get it, with my own trials and tribulations throughout life. I laugh and bow at this. In respect. While others in her generation do nothing to change their own lives, continue to stay stagnant by following the masses that settle down and take life as is, and getting ready to die. Not taking care of their bodies, not taking care of their mental state, forgetting to live. Programmed watching countless infomercials, eating food that only causes more problems etc. Then here’s Chick still forging the path forward, inspiring her generation still. Even in the later decades of her life she still chases her fucking dreams no matter her wrinkles. Is it easy? Ha like Chick would say “Fuck no”. Yet, here I am still picking fights with her. Out of love and trust we laugh about it, but I think this is my last, hahaha not even. 

So, I was on my way up north of the Twin Cities, and I had the privilege to get behind, and give space to 3, 3 wheelers. Now, I laughed out loud in my own single presence, because if Chick was sitting next to me I would say. “Oh my god chick, look at those bad asses. Totally and utterly sportin’ their 3 wheelers, riding like kings and queens on that comfy fucking couch. My god, (sitting on the edge of the seat, pointing at them) Look Chick, they are totally owning the road. Taking up their space, their essence taking up the road, saying fuck yeah, I’ve been riding for decades, and we are the Kings, and Queens of the road. Totally okay with their throne’s comfort because none of them look like they are in pain from their elderly riddled bodies, instead they are like fuck yeah, road is still mine bitches, wish a mother fucker would. Saving their hips, joints, and strength for the mother fuckers that would. Because god knows they still got fight, grit, and strength to stand up, because (look right at her, going firm with my words) because they are riding fucking 3 wheelers”