Alice? Who the Fuck is Alice?

That’s an excellent question! Some days I don’t even think I know, and that’s part of the whole persona of Alice, my road name, my aloof as fuck colored personality, finding my balance of too muchness, and not quite Alice yet moments. While maneuvering through the rabbit hole of MY life. I did write a blog awhile back titled “Who the Fuck is Alice”, and thought I summed it up pretty well, it read “Simply put, she’s a rabbit hole.” However I suppose where everything stands today, I should fall in line with the crew and elaborate on who “Alice” is.

Once upon a time, there was a girl, a rabbit, mad hatter, yeah blah blah blah, wrong Alice. *Shrugs or is it? Everything is a matter of perspective isn’t it? Does the story resonate deeply, oh sure. Has it been referenced to me in a descriptive manner of someone trying to explain me and my life? Well, yes. Did someone happen to nickname me Alice many years ago due to an accent flared pretentious mimicking of my world views on a rabbit hole rant? Yep.

Fast forward to Chick and me, sitting stoned in her garage numbing our pain from our riddled bodies laughing and creating. Talking about our road names in jest, while talking about how people in her life AT THE TIME had no clue to who I was. Chick raising both arms in the air, while excitedly saying “I got it”! “Alice, Who the fuck is Alice” by Smokie. Then proceeded to explain a story about her sitting around a campfire back in the day singing it with her crew. It just fit, we laughed, and that's how I became Alice. “It will be our theme”. She said, and well that's just what we did.

In a way I almost feel like she is setting me up, helping pave the way for our legacy but also the phase after her departure from here, being a teacher, guide, and mentor along the way. Especially with her tying in the bike ride as her bucket list item. Either way we both learn from each other, and both bow our heads in honor of each other. She’d tell you I am her teacher, mentor, guide in other areas. It’s just what the doctor ordered for both of us lost souls.

Anywho, not the vibe I was going for today, pulling a bit too much on the heart strings, and I'm not feeling like a deep dive into emotions at the moment.

To be straight shooter(which I prefer) I am what I am, I am who I am, I am where I am, and I am how I am. That simple, and that complicated. Alice is Lalenya, and Lalenya is Alice. No, it’s not a multiple personality or another person I ACT like, I am who I am across the board. I don’t show up different for other people. I cannot stand surface level conversations, and small talks. I tend to ask all the questions no one wants the answers to, and I always prefer truth. Fuck my feelings give it to me straight. Trust my discernment, and understand I will absolutely defend myself if anyone does this in a disrespectful manner. I want truth. I seek truth.

I make every move guided by intuition, visions, dreams, and the wisdom gathered from the poker games/players of life I have played in/with. In some fashion this has made me look “flaky” to the outsiders. To the ones closest to me, they’ve been around long enough to witness, and genuinely trust my eccentricity. I happen to be fun, witty, and love to laugh with others but categorize these sides of me as vulnerable and soft, therefore choosing to share only with people i trust. Most get my business side til trust is earned. No special treatment its just how I work. I like Pina Colada’s and fartin’ in the rain, long walks on the beach and swimming in the ocean. Nah that was a giant fib, just makin’ sure ya’ll payin attention while demonstrating I am a giant smart ass, and also known for being an asshole, but that typically goes hand in hand for speaking my truth. As we all know truth hurts, and typically repels many people, especially in my life. Not due to my approach, that is typically gentle unless you’ve crossed me and I have thrown hard boundaries up, but simply because people, no matter how gentle you spin the mirror around, cannot and will not face their own reflection. SO, they blame you. It’s a blessing and a curse. It’s not a flex, and don’t think I don’t have my own mirrors in my life. I'm just not everyone’s cup of tea.

However, *starts singing…..

“I am he as you are he as I am me and we are all together.”

See fuckers Alice is a rabbit hole. Much love, honor and respect!

Kisses 😘