Perspective on Goodbye

Throughout life, people and things come and go. You never really know when the last “goodbye” will be for anyone or anything. It could be a family member passing, a friendship or relationship ending for whatever reason, people moving, pets, items you have had for years that get worn or broken, kids moving away, etc. Whatever it is, there comes a time when things leave your life. It’s not an easy thing for many people to sit with or understand. The word “goodbye” implies an end. That it’s over, done, there is no continuation, but does anything really end? Yes, I can understand the argument that if you never talk to or see someone again, it’s an end. But somewhere inside you and them, there still live memories, thoughts, and time spent. A connection that lives on, whether in this life or the next.

When I was in college, one of the classes I had to take was an introduction to Ojibwe. This was many years ago, but I still remember some of it. Makwa is Bear, Waawaashkeshi is a general term for deer, Boohzoo is hello/how are you. Why do I bring this up? Well, there has always been one word that has stuck with me since the start of that class. At first, I thought it was a cool word, the way it sounded, the meaning behind it, it was interesting. As I have grown older and grown in many ways, watching people and things from the past leave my life, I have become more understanding of it. That word is Giga-waabamin. This translates simply to “I’ll see you again.” The Ojibwe people do not have a word for “goodbye.” To them, there is no end to things like relationships with people. Their connection to each other and the land, alongside their beliefs, tells them that in some way, shape, or form, you will meet and see each other again, be it in this life physically, or by signs, feelings, and spiritual connection. Yes, there are times when you may not physically see someone or something again. The time they spent in your physical life has come to an end, but I would argue that they/it is never truly gone. As I mentioned earlier, traces always remain. Little things will trigger memories and thoughts here and there. You may be having a conversation about something completely random and suddenly your brain says, “Hey, remember that time you and so and so did this?” despite not seeing them, talking about them, or thinking about it for years.

My argument is that nothing is really ever gone even when you say goodbye. There are always traces left in your life. It pulls up the song, “There Is Always Something There to Remind Me” (sung by many artists but most popular by “Snake Eyes” in the 80s). Yes, this song is about a man trying to forget about a love that has come and gone, but the concept is still the same. I feel these are there for a reason. Some are to remind you of who you used to be, how far you have come in your life, showing you how you have changed over the years. Other times these are a gentle reminder of a good time and how much you enjoyed it. Some pull up dark, sad, or bad memories that you may not have fully sat with to understand. They also show the impact of people and things around you during different times in life. It all ties together to show you what, when, where, why, and how your life has been shaped and changed. Many of them may seem like little things, a favorite shirt, a brief conversation you had in passing, a pet from your younger years. These all have had some level of impact on your life and who you are.

So despite saying goodbye, despite possibly seeing those people, pets, or things again, they still had their impact. They still live within you in some way, shape, or form. Mannerisms, sayings, changes to how you view the world around you, it’s all relevant and all important. So to you I say, sit and think next time you say the words “goodbye.” Is it truly a goodbye, or is it an “I will see you again, in my mind, or my heart, or my next life”? Just some food for thought. Giga-waabamin, my friends.