Fair

"How is that fair?" That's a question I have heard many times throughout my life. "That's unfair, how is that fair, why is that fair?" Depending on the situation and my mood my responses vary from "It's not, I don't know," all the way to" that's life, or life isn't fair." Now the real question is "what IS fair?" What do you consider fair. I find this changes from one person to the next. Each one having different ideas of what fair is. Some want everything to be equal across the board no matter what, others only think things are fair when it benefits them. So to me there is no definition of "FAIR". What I can tell you is that life in itself is what you make of it. Your mind, spirit, attitude, all of it plays into how you handle if things are "fair or not". 

Didn’t get the raise at work but someone who you feel does less did; is that fair, who knows. Maybe the universe felt they needed it more than you. Maybe they are doing more behind the scenes than you know, maybe they just know how to kiss ass better, who knows. Or maybe it's a lesson for you to look at what you have and understand it's what you need at the time. Those that are always complaining that things are not fair are often the ones looking at life in a manner of haves and have nots. They have this, they have that, but I don't. Do you really not have it or is it a matter of you not fully seeing what you do have? For example, maybe the person who got the raise is a loaner, sits at home, has nothing, but you have a loving family, friends, a support system, but all you can see is what someone else has. Maybe they see it as it's not fair you have everything you have and they don't. 

This is a problem with much of the world today. People focus on what others have, never truly happy with what they have. This is something I too struggled with for a number of years. As a man the expectations were to provide everything people wanted. If I couldn't give that to them I wasn't trying hard enough and was failing. It took me a number of years to realize that one can truly be happy with what they have if it makes you feel full. You don't need all the fancy electronics, the big yard, the new car, the fancy new house. One can be happy with the little things. Not look at it as "I have an old car" look at it as "I have a mode of transportation that has put in many miles and brought many memories". Not your yard may not be as big as the one down the street, but it's yours, you can do what you want with it. No, you may not have a big new fancy house, but the one you have is providing you shelter and a place to call home, which is more than others have. 

So what is fair? Fair is a word used to try and create or argue balance, but balance is not just some word, it's a way of living life. It’s what you make of what you have that matters. Can you be disappointed in not getting the raise, or new things, absolutely. But to dwell on it isn't going to change the fact that you didn't get it. Sometimes simply taking a step back and looking at everything in a different light will show you that you didn't need anything more to be happy. You simply need to reevaluate what you do have and understand that you may not seem like you have a lot, but someone else in your shoes would give everything you have to have that.