Growth

Healing and growth are an interesting thing. Many look at it and say it will help with everything in your life, make everything better. Yes this can happen, the healing can repair what's broken, can fix what's not working, but like all things there is another side to it. It changes you, rewrites you, your mind, your feelings, your nervous system. Suddenly you realize that the things that once brought you joy and excitement start to dull. The relationships and friendships you have formed start to no longer make sense, they start to grow distant, fall away. You may even feel empty, like things that mattered don't any more. People always come and go from life, things happen where they move on, and people’s likes and dislikes change as well. But, through the healing journey this can affect even the deepest rooted ideas and feelings. This is ok, this is normal as I am learning, along with many of you. 

Things and people you once found comforting and enjoyable are not always what you need once you start to level up. They no longer serve the same purpose. They helped get you to where you were and served a purpose, but are no longer needed or helpful for the next leg of the journey. This can be tough, wondering why it's happening, what changed? What did I do wrong? The answer is YOU changed and you likely did nothing wrong. Growing and healing on a personal and spiritual level is much like growing up in general. As a baby, you liked certain foods, toys, and people. As you got older those tastes and likes changed as you found who you were and what you were becoming. It's very much the same on the healing path. 

Some of the changes are small, food, clothes, hair style, but some have a much larger impact. Friends, family, jobs, marriages. Losing and changing some of these will hurt, it will shake you to your core as you move through the process. You have a choice, recognizing the changes, the need to shed things from the past and push through the pain, the sadness, and the loss to reach the higher level of you, or hold on to those things. Am I saying you can’t hold on to them and grow, no not always, but it will take work and eventually you will need to make a choice: are those things that are able to come with, or will you finally need to cut ties to continue to grow? This has been an interesting and difficult concept to grasp as I move through my path. Change has been something I have often struggled with in the past, often becoming rigid and stubborn, not listening to my gut and ignoring the signs. The old me was very set in my ways. Planning, stepping out every little step to everything, holding in things cause I felt they may not be worth saying, losing myself in the details. I had to very much step out of my comfort zone and look at myself from the outside, with some help from an outside source. It was then that I could see what was going on. I was fighting all the signs, making the same mistakes over and over. Growth is hard, you often need to hit rock bottom before you can fully understand the signs and feelings you are having. But all growth is hard. It's your path to walk, and by all means you are more than welcome to disagree, everyone grows and handles things differently. The key, as I see it, is to be true to yourself and to accept and take accountability for your actions.